Monday, April 29, 2013

WHAT THE EXPERTS SAY: Author Lawrence Fisher

Lawrence Fisher, Author

Please welcome Lawrence Fisher, who turned his dating escapades into prose to remind us "to have fun and enjoy life." Although frank, his book  KILL ME NOW!  is filled with humor that "is pointed and slaps the reader in the face with its realism.” When Fisher is not writing about his dates, he works in computers and education. He also holds a personal fitness trainer certification, and currently lives in Tel Aviv.

Don’t miss the excerpt following the interview.

Q: Why did you write KILL ME NOW!?

Lawrence Fisher: It kind of like wrote itself. I went on a date and my friends asked me how it went and when I told them they packed out laughing. I started a blog about amusing or horrifying dates and one reader said that I should start a book and so I did.

Q: Is KILL ME NOW! a “how to” book to help guide men how to pick up women?

Lawrence Fisher: Heavens no! I had no idea what I was doing, so my only guide to readers is to not do what I did. It is simply to show people that the idea is to have fun and enjoy life. One woman told me to my face that I was too fat. At one stage in my life, I would have been deeply hurt by that statement but nowadays, I brush it off and move on. As I say in my book, NEXT!

Q: Is KILL ME NOW! fiction or non-fiction?

Lawrence Fisher: Total non-fiction. These incidents actually happened!

Q: Although this is a book about men “in pursuit” of a soulmate, I discovered that I, a woman, laughed and appreciated the situation as I was reading an excerpt. Did you write your book for men or were you thinking about women readers, also?

Lawrence Fisher: I geared this book towards guys like me who enter the dating world and have no idea what they are doing. They are not going to find anyone sitting on a couch, although in the world of online dating, you do not know. But I found that like you, many female readers get a kick out of seeing the male mindset and of course, I use humor to tell my story.

Q: “Not my usual fare, but I do love humor...and the author hooked me with the book description and title.” How important is humor in telling your story?

Lawrence Fisher: If there is no humor, no story! Simple as that! If I cannot find the humor in an incident, then there is something wrong with me and the incident is not worth talking about. You remember I mentioned the woman who called me fat? I was thinking of adding that as a story and changing Winston Churchill’s famous quote to: “Yes I am fat, but I can diet and be thinner, but you will always be unpleasant.” There is a debate as to whether it was Churchill who made the comment “And you, Bessie, are ugly. But I shall be sober in the morning, and you will still be ugly.”

Q: How did you come up with the title KILL ME NOW!? 

Lawrence Fisher: It was a nice spring evening when I met, Ms Motor Mouth. Young Lawrence (ok, young at heart...) shaved, showered and perfumed himself up to meet Ms Motor Mouth, who was a blind date, bestowed upon him by a match maker. Yes, yes, you heard it, a match maker. Read my book for sordid details of the awfulness of this period.

So I met Motor for coffee and for the better part of two hours, she did not stop talking. The poor waiter was standing next to her waiting for her to order while she went on and on. The only thing I knew about her soliloquy was that she was complaining about her job. Not explaining, but complaining. Should I have charged her $200 for therapy?

My mind wondered and wandered and I looked up to the heavens for release. Scotty was not available, but the title was born. Thanks Ms Motor Mouth.

Q: “Mr. Fisher's style is personal and he opens his soul for all to see” How do you get readers to care about you, the “protagonist,” in your book? How do you create you as the main “character?”

Lawrence Fisher: I think people care because I am a regular guy, not one of the Hollywood types but a regular Joe, like them. Just someone looking for a mate.

Q: What made you want to be a writer?

Lawrence Fisher: A reader made me become a writer. I never thought I would but I am not sorry I did!

Q: What’s next? How do you envision your writing career?

Lawrence Fisher: KILL ME NOW! will be a trilogy. I am working on the second and third books together. The second will be “How I didn’t meet your mother” and the third will be “Why didn’t I listen to my friends?”

Q: Tell us something about you. Since you no longer have to search for your soulmate (and I trust married life is agreeing with you), what do you like to do when you’re not writing? 

Lawrence Fisher: Supposed to be a secret that I am married, until the second book is published. Well, I happen to love my wife and she likes my book. So apart from being with her, I love reading and of course I have my day job.

About Lawrence Fisher

Lawrence has been out on countless dates in search of his soulmate. Like most people he has found himself in many strange situations. However, he found that he could see the humor in each situation. Lawrence is a single guy in his late 40s. He has worked in computers and education for about 25 years and also holds a personal fitness trainer certification. He currently lives in Tel Aviv, Israel. Lawrence Fisher spends his days writing software tutorials and his nights in the endless search for the ONE. Will he find her? Or will there be book two out?

KILL ME NOW! is about Lawrence, a man in his late 40s dodging bullets deep in the dating battlefield while searching for the ONE. In KILL ME NOW! Lawrence tries to decode signals of his enigmatic opponent, often resulting in his hasty retreat. Why is she resting her head on her hand? Is she bored? Or is she interested? He finds himself in many humorous situations where he has no idea what he is doing and no idea how to maneuver through the skirmish. Trapped in the epicenter of the courting conflict, the motivating thought that sustains him is his strong belief that somewhere out there, she awaits. Join Lawrence as he painfully stumbles through the mating minefield in search for his SOULMATE while silently wishing that he was elsewhere. Be warned, you will laugh! 


No date again, woe is me! How many of us have sat at home wondering why we don’t have a date? How many of us have gone to a bar to look for a girl, found someone interesting and just froze? What should we say to her? What is a good pick up line? Questions, questions, questions! Help! 
Those of us who know how to use the internet instinctively say, “Google it!” In the search tab, you type in, “how to pick up girls” and hope for the best. You then receive a plethora of websites offering you information from the best of the best. THE experts! Or so you assume. One site says there are plenty of people who are good at picking up girls, but cannot explain their art. If they cannot explain, then what good are they to us? Do they describe which girls are they trying to pick up? What kind of girls were these, real or imaginary?
One night, I decided to try a line from one of those websites. Me, myself and I, the holy trio, decided to go to a bar. A stunning brunette caught my attention as she eyed the crowd. Somehow she managed to avoid eye contact with me. I walked up to the lady, took out my iPhone, and hoped it impressed her.

I read off my iPhone, “Baby, I’m no Fred Flintstone but I can make your Bedrock.” OK, I agree with you. That is a lame line.

She leaned toward me seductively and said, “Go Google again!” Was she being rude to me or not? I still have no idea. I think she had learned the true art of diplomacy, which is the ability to tell someone to go to hell so that he actually looks forward to the trip.

It is very important to make a good first impression. The first impression is vital. It is difficult to correct a bad first impression. Oh, the pressure, the pressure. There is only one chance to do it right!

Going up to a girl at a bar saying, “What is a girl like you doing in a place like this?” will probably earn you a smirk. Not only is the line antiquated, but it seems to work only in the movies, and sometimes not even there. The only time I tried that line, the girl said it was her bar and that I should not refer to it as “such a place”.

Oh, what should I do? What should I do?

The internet provides contradicting information. What's new? When we search for something in our field of expertise, we understand whether it sounds right or not. But if our understanding is close to zero, how can we define what is right and what is not?

Somehow I need to hone my non-existent skills. Somehow I need more practice. Somehow I need experienced friends.

Looking at my friends and hearing their stories, I wonder, does experience really help?

Oh, crap! Kill me now!"

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