Clarkson Graham, Author MARRIED TO CRAZY |
Author Clarkson Graham
offers us insight into a difficult period of his life in his book MARRIED TO CRAZY. In this very personal memoir, he chronicles his suffering caused by an
abusive spouse. He shares his pain and recovery to help heal himself and in order to guide others--particularly men--who might have had similar experiences.
When he's not working or writing, Graham enjoys yoga,
running, working-out, and reading.
Q: How would you characterize your book, MARRIED TO CRAZY? Did you write it to deliver a message, to instruct, and/or to entertain? Is it fiction or non-fiction?
Clarkson
Graham: MARRIED TO CRAZY is a memoir of my battle
dealing with the pain, confusion, and trauma associated with the emotional,
physical and verbal abuse I suffered at the hands of my now ex-wife, who may
have an undiagnosed personality disorder (Anti-Social Personality
Disorder). It is a raw and
emotional story of how I came to realize my desperate situation, how I managed
to escape, how I suffered through the symptoms of post-traumatic stress
disorder (PTSD), and how I finally embarked on the process of rebuilding what I
almost lost – myself.
I
wrote this book to help me along my path to recovery, and also help others who
find themselves in a similar situation as I was in. My objective was to help other people realize that they are
not alone, and with the right resources, including counseling, supportive
friends and family, and I steadfast resolve to heal, they can successfully deal
with their situation and reclaim their life. I wanted people to know that anything is possible with hope,
hard work and support.
Q: Your story
is a very personal one. What inspired you to share it?
Clarkson
Graham: I did a lot of research and found that there
were very few books and resources available for men who have been in an abusive
relationship with a female partner.
This may be due to the fact that some men may not realize, or may even
discount, that they are victims of emotional, verbal and/or physical abuse, and
in other situations, men may be reluctant to share their stories because of a
fear of being seen as “weak”.
There is a need to dispel the myth that women are the only victims of
domestic abuse, while at the same time, provide men with necessary resources to
help them deal with their situations.
I feel that my book will help to educate people – particularly men –
about the fact that abuse does exist, and men can be definitely be victims. I hope that my book will provide
victims with ideas to help them heal after leaving an unhealthy, abusive relationship.
Finally,
I felt that it was beneficial to share my story about post-traumatic stress disorder
(PTSD) so that people can be informed about the potential health risks associated
with abusive relationships.
Q: Who are your
target readers? Who do you think will most benefit from reading your story?
Clarkson
Graham: The target readers for my book are people –
particularly men – who are either dealing with, or recovering from, an abusive relationship. My book is an effective resource for
anyone who may be supporting a friend or family member who is suffering from
the aftermath of a physically, mentally, and/or emotionally abusive partner or
spouse.
Q: What tips would you offer to other men
who might find themselves in a similar situation?
Clarkson
Graham: I think the first tip I would offer is to accept
the reality of your situation. In
order for you to begin the recovery process, you need to realize that you are
in a damaging situation, and acknowledge the fact that the situation will not
improve. It is impossible to make
someone change the way that they treat you and therefore, you have to garner
the courage to save yourself and embark on the journey of healing.
Even
though physical abuse is damaging, emotional abuse can be far more damaging. The reason being is because your
self-confidence can be eroded by constant verbal barrages and continuous
reminders that “everything is your fault.” Once your confidence is gone, you
may not feel like you have courage or strength to leave, which can exacerbate
an already difficult situation.
Don’t
be afraid to ask for help. There
is nothing wrong with counseling, talking to friends and family, and reading
books to help you heal.
Lastly,
but certainly not least, stay positive.
The healing journey is not smooth; however, it gets easier over
time. If you put in the work, you
will see the results.
Q: How do you
draw readers into your book?
Clarkson
Graham: The one thing that will captivate readers is
that my book is a real-life, authentic account of my relationship to Olga. Oftentimes, it is hard for me to
imagine that I actually lived through these events, and many times I wish I
hadn’t, however they are real nonetheless.
The
book begins like a love story highlighting my seemingly perfect courtship and
engagement to Olga and then, following our marriage vows, things change for the
worse and my dream becomes a living nightmare.
My
book follows an actual timeline of events and so the reader is compelled to
continue on to see what happens next.
I have been told that my book is a real “page-turner;” however, I guess that is up to the reader to
determine.
Q: When did you
first realize that you wanted to write your book? Have you always wanted to
write?
Clarkson
Graham: I never intended on being a writer; in fact,
I still do not consider myself a writer.
One of my counselors recommended that I start to journal my thoughts and
feelings as a way to deal with all of the emotions stemming from my ordeal. One
night I started to type out my thoughts, and I ended up writing about 250
words. When I woke up the next
morning, I decided that I was going to turn my situation into a memoir, and twelve
months later, my book was written, edited and published.
I
wrote the book to help build my self-confidence. My confidence was completely shattered, and I figured that
if I wrote a book (something I thought I would never do), it would help me on
my healing journey.
Q: Who
influenced your writing?
Clarkson
Graham: I was fortunate to have many people influence
my writing. I had a couple of
counselors who, upon reading one of my therapeutic letters, mentioned that I
wrote pretty well. I am also
blessed to have great friends and a wonderful family who encouraged me to write
this book.
Thankfully,
I never had anyone tell me I couldn’t do it, and that definitely helps.
Q: What did you
find the most challenging part of writing MARRIED TO CRAZY?
Clarkson
Graham: The most challenging part of writing the book
was going back in time to relive and document my courtship with Olga, my
abusive ex-wife. It was hard to write
about how much I loved her after having gone through such an immense amount of
pain throughout my marriage. I
truly loved her, and it was hard to imagine that someone who was supposedly so
loving and caring turned out to be so destructive.
Hindsight
is 20/20 and it was difficult to write about the many warning signs that I
either ignored or discounted because I loved Olga so much. The good news is that experience is a best
teacher, and I think I am more attuned to recognizing these signs now.
Q: What’s next? Will you write more books?
Clarkson
Graham: That is a good question. I have to be honest when I say that I
do not have any books in the works right now; however, you never know.
Q: Tell us
about you. What do you like to do when you’re not writing? Do you have any
hobbies? Favorite movies? Books? Etc.
Clarkson
Graham: My journey on my healing path continues. I vowed to be stronger, healthier and
wiser after my ordeal and this has led me to pursue many positive activities in
my spare time, such as, yoga, running, working-out and reading. I am also in the process of learning mindfulness
meditation techniques to help deal with the triggers associated with my PTSD symptoms
more effectively.
My
favorite books are: Man’s Search for
Meaning by Victor Frankl, and Unbroken:
A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption by Laura
Hillenbrand. These books are
inspirational because they helped me to understand the amazing strength of the
human spirit given seemingly impossible odds.
About
Clarkson Graham
“I am not a
victim, nor will I be. I am a survivor. As a survivor, I was able to subjugate
my feelings of weakness and powerlessness and eventually discover the desire,
courage, and fortitude I needed to access the support and resources that were
necessary to begin the recovery process. I can say that my continuing growth
and development has been defined, in part, by my ability to triumph over a
complicated life situation, and now, with this book, I am sharing my knowledge
and insight as I continue on my healing journey.“
About MARRIED TO CRAZY
MARRIED TO CRAZY is how Clarkson Graham met and fell in love with Olga, the woman of his dreams.
Their courtship, engagement, and
eventual marriage followed. As their relationship progressed, Olga’s behavior
became progressively more volatile and abusive. All along, Clarkson lived in
the hope that he could “fix” her problems and live up to her perplexing
expectations, until one appalling event drove him to his breaking point.
Following therapy for post-traumatic stress disorder, Clarkson finally put his
life back together again and was then determined to share his experience, and
especially what he had learned, with other people—and particularly with other
men—who might find themselves in a similar situation.
Social
Links:
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Clarkson_Graham
Where
to Purchase:
Website (physical only)
Giveaway CLICK HERE
First Prize: $50
Amazon Gift Card plus autographed copy of Married to Crazy
Second Prize:
Autographed copy of Married to Crazy
Third Prize:
Autographed copy of Married to Crazy
Go to: http://marriedtocrazy.ca/ |
Hello Joyce,
ReplyDeleteOn behalf of Clarkson Graham and Book Marketing Services, I would like to thank you for interviewing Clarkson on Strand’s Simply Tips. You asked some very interesting and thought provoking questions. If anyone has any questions and/or comments they would like to share with Clarkson, please leave them in the comment box. He will be by later in the day to respond.
Clarkson is having a giveaway during his tour. 1st prize: $50 Amazon gift card plus an autographed copy of Married to Crazy; 2nd & 3rd prizes: autographed copy of Married to Crazy. You can enter here: http://bit.ly/1gjlstz
Please join Clarkson tomorrow, Tuesday, November 19th when he will be the guest of two blog hosts. Please visit him on Tana Rae Reads http://tana-someofmyfavoritebooks.blogspot.ca and Lori’s Reading Corner http://www.lorisreadingcorner.com/.
Hello, Joyce: Thank you for interviewing me and for featuring my responses on your site. I really appreciate your support. Thank you again, Clarkson Graham
ReplyDeleteI found your great blog through the WLC Blog Follows on the World Literary Cafe! Great to connect! http://dori-lavelle.blogspot.com
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